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The Energizer Blog

Writer's pictureEileen McDargh

Sorrow Shared Is Sorrow Halved


Comforting one in sorrow

I was reminded of this old saying when I read what Dr. Mollie Marti, founder of Wordmaker Resilience Institute, wrote about her grief over losing a dear friend. As Mollie and I both believe, resilience is not a “been there-done-that” but one that ebbs and flows like the tides. Loss triggers a cry for resilience.


Death is the one CERTAINTY we all will face. With Mollie’s permission, I share with you her insights into coping with sudden tragedy and sharing sorrow.


1. Grief is love.


It’s part of our human experience to learn how to open pathways for love to continue flowing after loss. Mollie’s dear friend was the daughter of an Army veteran and a champion for kids. Mollie is now channeling some of her love of this dear friend into creating a new resilience toolkit to help military kids.


2. Small acts of care make a big difference.


Messages of condolence and honoring sentiments offer strength and comfort.


3. Nothing is promised in life.


“You already know the terms of existence here on the planet. The terms are absolutely anything can happen to absolutely anybody at any moment. And there is nothing you can do to control it.” Liz Gilbert. Mollie writes that each day must be lived to the fullest and never miss a day without expressing love and friendship. My question: what relationships in your life need tending today?


4. Grief is an invitation for empathy.


Because grief is universal, allow grief not to be hyper-focused on oneself. Rather see it as an invitation to grow empathy for others. There are so many broken hearted among us.


5. You never know who needs kindness.


Small random acts of kindness allow one’s spirit to be nourished and provide salve for its healing. In a world that often seems so filled with anger and hatred, kindness is needed more than ever.


Ironically, I spoke today to a long-time friend who told me that her mother is now in hospice. I told her what I learned helping my mom prepare for the final passage. Mollie’s words came back to me in full force. Sometimes, the quiet of shared thoughts and listening might be the greatest kindness.

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